Sunday, January 9, 2011

THINGS I’LL NEVER WRITE ABOUT

by Earl Staggs


I’ll never write about vampires. Or werewolves, mummies, ghosts, or any other creature that is supposed to be dead, but isn’t. I have nothing against those who do write about them and do not mean to deride or demean them in any way. Let’s face it. There are many books, TV shows and movies about them doing quite well, and I applaud all those who are writing them and enjoying success.

It’s just not for me. I won’t write about them, and I don’t read about them or watch them on a screen of any size.

If you’re wondering why, read on. If you don’t care why, stop here.

My problem stems from the scary movies I watched as a kid. The old black and white, low budget ones about Dracula, Frankenstein, The Wolfman, The Mummy, and others. I loved going to the movie theater with the other kids in the neighborhood and being scared out of my knickers. Later on, I saw the movies again when, every night, usually after the eleven o’clock news, local TV channels ran them. I only got to see them on weekends, of course, because I couldn’t stay up that late on school nights. They scared me all over again, and I loved them as much as before.

Bela Lugosi was Dracula. He wasn’t a good looking young stud with rock solid abs, and he certainly wasn’t a sex symbol. He was a monster. He came into your room at night to bite you in the neck and suck your blood. You were scared out of your mind until someone finally drove a stake through his heart. You could feel some amount of sympathy for The Wolfman with Lon Chaney, Jr. playing the role of Lawrence Talbott. The poor guy was bitten by a werewolf one dark night in the woods and every time there was a full moon, he would change into one. Okay, you could feel a little sorry for the Frankenstein monster, too, usually played by Boris Karloff. It wasn’t his fault the crazy doctor threw him together with spare parts. Still, they were not intended to be anything but scary.

Those images were burned into my mind and are still there. That’s why I can’t get interested in the way these monsters are presented these days.

Perhaps, you might say, it’s a personal problem, and I should get over it. You may be right. Maybe I should and maybe someday I will. For now, I barely have time to keep up with the mystery and crime stories and heroes I read and write about, so I’ll leave things the way they are. Vampires, werewolves and other monsters will remain the black and white, one-dimensional villains I lovingly enjoyed in my youth.

12 comments:

Sylvia Dickey Smith said...

Me, neither, Earl! Ghosts, yep, and almost a thriller, like I did in Dance On His Grave, but not zombies, vampires, werewolves or mummys!Sylvia Dickey Smith

A War of Her Own

Mark W. Danielson said...

I agree, Earl, but I'd have to add the cyclops and banshees to my list. Still remember watching them as a kid, and they scared the hell out of me. Give me comedy, action, or a musical any day!

Mark W. Danielson said...

I agree, Earl, but I'd have to add the cyclops and banshees to my list. Still remember watching them as a kid, and they scared the hell out of me. Give me comedy, action, or a musical any day!

Marilyn Meredith a.k.a. F. M. Meredith said...

I have to agree, though I do like to put supernatural stuff into my Deputy Tempe Crabtree mysteries and I did write about the Hairy Man (Big Foot like creature in our local Indians legends) that's as far as I'm going to go.

Marilyn

Earl Staggs said...

Sylvia, I liked what you did with the ghost in DANCE ON HIS GRAVE. Creative, imaginative and fun.

Mark, I remember how scary they were, but as kids, we HAD to watch them because we wanted to be scared. Now, like you, I want to be entertained.

Marilyn, I think the Hairy Man would be interesting, and I'm sure you didn't make him a sex symbol who'll show up on the cover of fan magazines or on Dancing With the Stars.

Mark Troy said...

I don't write monster stories because they'd end up being autobiographical. The monster I identified with as a kid was the Creature from the Black Lagoon. He was just a funny looking kid in love with the beautiful but unattainable girl and everybody hated him for it.

Linda Leszczuk said...

Thank you, Earl. I might enjoy a good ghost story now and then but in my mind vampires look like Bela Lugosi and never sparkle. And don't get me started on Zombies.
(Okay, I did feel sorry for the Frankenstein monster but I attribute that to the wonderful Boris Karloff.)

Earl Staggs said...

Mark Troy mentioned the Creature from the Black Lagoon. For any trivia buffs, the man who played the creature (Ricou Browning)later co-wrote a little book about a dolphin called "Flipper." And the rest is. . . . .

Earl Staggs said...

Linda, when people like Lugosi and Karloff set the standard, they should leave it alone. I feel the same about Rooster Cogburn, but you don't want to get me started.

Linda Leszczuk said...

Earl, when I heard about the re-make of True Grit my reaction was - why would anyone try to take on a role that belongs to the Duke? Makes no sense.

Earl Staggs said...

Linda, they don't care if it makes sense, only that it makes money. I say let them remake Rudolf Valentino movies if they want, but leave a perfectly good and current classic alone.

Kevin R. Tipple said...

they have wussified the zombies, vampires, etc in an effort to make them romantic. I blame Ann Rice. She created this nonsense in the first place.