PRE-position-ED for Failure by Robert W. Walker

Can it be that Prepostional Phrases and Preps themselves are Deep-Sixing Your Sentences?  It is quite possible. This is one of the ten paths to confusion and the #1 Sin in writing is being UNclear.  Preps are all the directional words -- up for instance, a word that 99% of the time can be tossed without a second thought and the sentence works perfectly well with out it.  I stood up....no, I stood.  Other directionals are: in, down, before, below, above, around, over, under, through, to, toward, and I think the word for comes into play as does into.  These are useful in and of themselves but when you string three or more back to back, they create a bloated sentence, and if you have a string of two or three prepostional phrases in the same sentence, whammo, it gets unwieldy fast.

Picture a grid with a continum from begiing of the sentence to end....Subject/Uppercase  -- Verb -- Object.
Prepositons normally come into play in the pre-position before the Subject position or before the object position (thus pre-position).  Thus we get such phrases AFTER the verb as these:  to whom it concerns...
for whom are you waiting....from whom all blessiings flow...in God we trust, etc.

Here is an example of a sentence bloated with prepostional phrases followed by a corrected version:

In the house on 9th street up over the hill beyond the white gate, Mark saw her through the curtained window below the awnings where Serena stood bathed in sunlight that filtered through her hair and reflected in his eye.

In the hosue/on 9th/up over the hill/beyond the white gate....all 4 prepositions BEFORE we get to Mark, the actor and his action....then after the action we get added on prepostionals: through the window/below the awnings/in sunlight/through her hair/in his eye --for a total of 5 more preps.  What is lost in a morass of prepositonal phrases is Mark, his action, and the object of his interest--Serena.

Do we need all these asides, all this added detail?  Some yes, some no.  Revised:

Beyond the white gate, Mark saw Serena through the curtained window where sunlight bathed her hair and reflected in his eye.

I just think a great serpentine sentence is wonderful when it works but not if it relies on a string atop a string of prepositionals like within she stood....and the worst offender at end of so many sentences and totally unneeded -- the dreaed TO ME.  And as I mentioned the usually useless UP as in up over....Over says it all.

Does it make sense?  I hope so.
OK, now get on out of the classroom and go enjoy some real sunlight and nature!

I am posting a challenge, however, to anyone and everyone to watch me publicly write my next novel at  Dirty Deeds - Mystery/Suspense Author's Advice wherein I am keeping a Julia&Julia styled Journal in which I set myself the task of a finished novel in a year.  You can lurk, comment, toss in questions and enter a contest soon to be placed there, a contest for an Alternative Title to my workign title on this work in progress, PlagueShip Titanic. Winner gets signed copy of one of my published books. At same time you get some professional whose shoulder you can look over the entire proceess.  Hope to see you there. You can find the url at my website -- http://www.robertwalkerbooks.com/

Happy Writing Days -- Rob

Odds 'n Ends of Advice from Mystery Experts - by Vivian Zabel

I read writing magazines, blogs written by writers and writing experts, and articles about writing. Usually each thing I read gives me at least one nugget of golden advice. Here are a few of my favorites bits and pieces or “odds ‘n ends” of advice.

1. Clive Cussler, The Writer March 1979: Lead readers on and on by ending chapters on a note of mystery. Cut out deadwood. If it isn’t necessary, cut it.

I’m not always consistent about following the advice to end chapters on note of mystery, but I’m getting better.

2. I really like this bit of advice from James Scott Bell, Writer’s Digest March/April 2009, and I use it often: “Relive your scenes. Not rewrite. Relive.” Imagine yourself as the characters living the scene.

3. In the March 2009 The Writer, Staton Rabin writes: “Handle exposition delicately.” He states, “We must never know we are having things explained to us.”

4. Going back almost as far in The Writer history as the Clive Cussler article is the 1985 article by Randall Silvis, who wrote that dialogue draws the reader closer to the action, intensifying it.

5. Nancy Lamb wrote in a Writer’s Workbook, Writer’s Digest March/April 2009, and I’m going to quote the whole paragraph: “Never let the truth get in the way of your story. Creative writing is just that: creative. If the truth prevents you from telling your fictional story effectively, get rid of the facts and invent something that makes the story work.” Wonderful words of wisdom for fiction.

6. According to Gary Braver, The Writer April 2009, “give your hero two quests,” a personal and a public quest.

7. Jessica Page Morrell’s title, Writer’s Digest July/August 2009, is excellent advice: “Keep your story moving at the right pace.”

8. In the February 2009 The Writer, Mary E. DeMuth writes, “Translate your emotional experiences,” and “Get out in the world.”

I’ve given only eight tips out of the hundreds available, but each one gives an author much useful advice. Yes, they are some of my favorite odds ‘n ends of mystery writing advice.

Vivian Zabel
Brain Cells & Bubble Wrap

What's the bad guy up to?

There's a passage in Michael Connelly's Echo Park that is directed to writers who might be reading the book.

Bosch suddenly had an idea about that but decided to grind it over for awhile before acting on anything. He put the questions aside for the moment and got up to refill his coffee mug. He was using a real coffee mug he had brought down from the Open Unsolved Unit because he preferred it over Styrofoam. His mug had come from a famous writer and television producer named Stephen Cannell who had spent time with the OU unit researching a project. Printed on the side of the mug was Cannell's favorite piece of writing advice. It said What's the bad guy up to? Bosch liked it because he thought it was a good question for a real detective to always be considering as well.

This got my attention. Michael Connelly who created Harry Bosch was giving writing advice from Stephen J. Cannell who created The Rockford Files, Adam-12, Hunter and just about any other program worth watching on television.

Obviously, Connelly thought this was an important tip, one he found useful in his own writing. How did he come to possess it? Since he refers to it as Cannell's favorite piece of advice, I guessed it came from a public lecture or interview. Most public events find their way onto the internet, so I googled Stephen J. Cannell.

I found more than a tip. I found Stephen J. Cannell's Free Online Writing Seminar at http://www.cannell.com/television.php. If you click on the link, you will find it at the bottom of the page.

It's a five part seminar. The tip that Connelly thought important enough to pass on to us through Harry Bosch can be found in Part IV under "Tricks Of The Trade." It's offered as a solution to a problem many writers have -- a sagging middle. Here's Cannell's explanation for why it's a problem.

Because Act Two is the hardest act to plot, most people give up on their ideas in Act Two; "This isn't working." "This idea sucks." Most of the time the reason we break down plotting Act Two, is that we tend to "walk" with the hero because we identify with the protagonist. We walk through the story inside his or her head.

Act Two is where the antagonist's plan is revealed, or, if not revealed, we at least see the effects of the plan. Things happen to the protagonist that we may not understand, but, at the end of the story, we can go back and say, "I should have known."

Once we get past the complication and are into Act Two, we sometimes get stuck. "What do I do now?" "Where does this protagonist go from here?" The plotting in Act Two often starts to get linear (a writer's expression meaning the character is following a string, knocking on doors, just getting information). This is the dullest kind of material. We get frustrated and want to quit.

Here's Cannell's tip:

When you get to this place, go around and become the antagonist. You probably haven't been paying much attention to him or her. Now you get in the antagonist's head and you're looking back at the story to date from that point of view.

Of course, you may still write the story in the protagonist's point of view, but you have plotted it from the antagonist's point of view.

"Wait a minute... Rockford went to my nightclub and asked my bartender where I lived. Who is this guy Rockford? Did anybody get his address? His license plate? I'm gonna find out where this jabrone lives! Let's go over to his trailer and search the place." Under his mattress maybe the heavy finds his gun (in Rockford's case, it was usually hidden in his Oreo cookie jar). His P.I. license is on the wall. Now the heavy knows he's being investigated by a P.I. Okay, let's use his gun to kill our next victim. Rockford gets arrested, charged with murder. End of Act Two.

See how easy it works? The destruction of the hero's plan. Now he's going to the gas chamber.

Plot from the heavy's point-of-view in Act Two; it is an invaluable tip.

Easy for Stephen Cannell and Michael Connelly. For the rest of us, it will require a lot of practice, but, if this is how Cannell and Connelly write, you can be sure I'm going to try it. Now, if I could just find a coffee mug with that great piece of writing advice to keep me focused, What's the bad guy up to?

Researching on the Web

By Christine Duncan

Using the web for research can appear to be the easiest way to research your topic. But beware! You always need to check your source. When I researched domestic violence statistics for my mystery, I ran into a range of numbers that set domestic violence in the U.S at anywhere from one in ten women to one-half of all women. I chose the statistics that could be backed up by the FBI's Uniform Crime reports as being the most accurate and up to date.
Before we get to the list of helpful websites, I just want to note that the first place you should probably start with research on the web is again--close to home. If your area writer's group has a list serve or chat group, let your research needs be known. I did this when I needed blood splatter information and in one email to my area writer's group let over 200 writers know what I was looking for. Better yet, I got an answer from a fellow writer who volunteered her FBI crime scene detective husband as a research source. The upshot of this was that not only did I get my questions answered, but when the group heard what happened, they invited the FBI man to talk to the group about crime scenes. So we all benefited. Don't be shy! This is the ultimate way to network.
If your research needs are complicated, don’t forget that there are many courses offered online.

And last but not least, the reason you're reading this article: a few places that mystery writers can use for research. So scroll down and see if you can find a jumping off point for your own research needs.
As always though, I have to add the disclaimer--do your homework and check out the people giving you the answers. Just because a web site appears on this list doesn't mean it's right for you. It is just a site that I've run into at one time or another that I thought to be helpful..
Also remember that all sites have a bias of one sort or another. A lawyer may not see things the way a cop does or the way a criminal would.


Forensics

Carpenter's List of Forensic Science Resources: Just what it says--a list of links on everything from Arson to locating Forensic experts.

The Graveyard Shift A blog about police procedure and investigation


Crimescenewriter@yahoogroups.com To quote from the group description “A forum for asking and answering crime scene investigation, applied forensics, and police procedure questions for fiction or non-fiction writers.” They encourage questions.


Police

Real Police Great looking site. Articles and info about cops. The ask-a-cop message board promises that messages are monitored by real cops who will answer your questions.

Weapons

Guns America
A site to buy or sell guns. Since the guns are for sale, they've included pictures, which I found helpful, along with a brief description. Sorted by date as well as by type of gun,--interesting stuff for an historical mystery--or a modern day one.

Weapons_info@yahoogroups.com This group says in its blurb that writers make many errors regarding weapons of all types. They want to help. The bios of the moderator and consultants are available.


Medical
National Institute of Health
Tons of information. Diseases, symptoms, drugs and their side effects, it's all here.

Poisons
Botanical.com

And finally a site that has even more links to a ton of research sites for every mystery writer’s needs-- Write-Brain.com


Christine Duncan is the author of the Kaye Berreano mystery series.

Studying the Mystery versus Having Fun with the Mystery

I am unique to the staff of contributing writers on this blog in that I have never published a mystery novel. I just love the genre, and am pretty darn well read in it. My main genre of choice is spiritual/inspirational with a bent towards humor and mischief. Kind of a cross-over guy. I plan on releasing a novel this year titled, Detective Snoop – a comedic whodunit detective story with some underlying spiritual messages. And it has several elements in it that are essential in a good mystery book. I also plan on writing a true mystery one day. But that requires more learning on my part.

Like any good student of the art he or she is pursuing, I do my studying. Even with a “cross-over” pseudo-mystery like Detective Snoop, I have to be able to include some mystery book elements. Like “clues,” the all important “crucial clue,” and maybe toss in a couple “red herrings” for good measure.

The crucial clue. The one clue that the protagonist finally “gets it” and solves the case. It could be something that points straight at the perpetrator. Like let’s say one character, call him Billy Joe, claims he got a bizarre visitor at his door at seven o'clock in the evening on a certain day. Later on, the detective (or cop, or protagonist, whatever – main character) gets full information about where all the suspects were at that time. He thinks back to what Billy Joe said about the strange visitor at that time, and now he knows that couldn't have taken place. Gotcha.

And the red herring. A bit of information an author throws out there to mislead the reader into thinking someone who is actually innocent is probably the guilty one. These are fun elements in a good mystery and make the case harder to solve. They can also add punch to the beloved “twist” in a well written mystery.

See? I’m learning about this writing a good mystery book stuff.

Funny, the more you study and work at an art, the less you can be just a casual lover of the craft. I am an accomplished musician. Have been ever since high school. I cannot listen to music like most people. I am constantly analyzing it. Wonder why the artist chose that instrumentation? Interesting bass line. Ooops, the vocalist had a bit of slippage between registers on that passage. I don’t think I would have put the bridge in for a third time in that arrangement. Things like that.

When I undertook becoming a writer, a serious writer, pursuing a career with it, I lost the ability to simply relax and enjoy a good book. Now I am constantly analyzing the writing. Why did she switch from “telling” the story to “showing” it for this scene? Interesting shift in tense – not sure if I like it all that much. Oh no, way too many adjectives for my tastes. Wow – great one-liner – wish I’d thought of that! See what I mean?

And now that I’m endeavoring to learn how to write a good mystery, I’m losing the ability to enjoy reading one without taking it apart and dissecting it for analysis! Help!

It’s all about balance. I need a new hobby. Music and literature are both classroom activities for me anymore. I’ll have to take up synchronized swimming or something for my “fun only” times.

Has anybody else experienced what I'm going through? Oh and I need a partner for my synchronized swimming class. Any comers?

Research Opportunities for Mystery Writers

So you've got an idea for a really great mystery novel but you need to research it a little. Now what? Writers often shy away from research for a variety of reasons.

First off, research can stop the flow of words and you don't want to spoil that. Sometimes you may not even know what research is needed until you start writing something and realize you need to know more.

Secondly, it can be really hard to call an expert, identify yourself as a writer and ask questions. What do you do if they ask what you've written and then say they've never heard of you. Do you look like a want-a-be?

You can do this. If the words are flowing and you can write around the area that needs researching, then keep going, making sure to mark the area you have questions about with a comment.

As for identifying yourself as writer--hey that's a whole 'nother article, but maybe you don't need to go that far yet. You may just need to delve into research opportunities that you may not even have known about.

Let's say you need to know what would happen to blood splatter from a knife wound in a fire in a torched garage. That's something you probably want to ask an expert. Most police and fire departments have public information officers trained to answer questions. So if you want to just get this research done with a phone call, start there.

If you don't know exactly what you don't know, you can sign up for a police ride-along in your community. This is just what it sounds like--you ride along with the cop in the police car--usually for about half a shift (four hours). In my own city, citizens can do this once a month.

This experience can be invaluable. Think of it! You get to see the inside of a police car, without having to do time. Plus, you can get a good close view of what is included in a policeman's uniform, an idea on how the radio works (deciphering what comes over it is a trick) and maybe even some inside skinny on a cop's job.
You can ask the cop about just about anything there, and get a chance to see exactly what a shift is like.

For more in-depth information on police procedures and techniques, you can enroll in a citizen police academy. Many cities offer them now. They are usually a semester's worth of classes on a range of things that the police in your community deal with. One night you might get a demonstration on how police check out a call about a disturbance in a vacant building; the next class session might be a practice session at the shooting range. Plus most classes end with a call for questions from the class. The police department gets its own benefits from these academies. First off, informed citizens are more likely to be supportive citizens. And many academies use their alumni as volunteers for projects around the community.

Speaking of volunteering, don't rule that out as a way to learn, and help while you're doing so. Many police departments now use volunteer victim assistants. Victim assistants can help the police with victims of domestic abuse by counseling the victims on their options. As a volunteer, you might accompany a woman to court. Victim assistants can also help with child abuse victims. It depends on the police department but if you are willing to help, you can make a difference while seeing the inside workings of some police matters.

Okay, let's say you have the police/forensic angles covered. Your real research need is for medical information. If you have just a quick question, you can probably sneak it in to your own doctor when you're having your annual physical. But if you've got more in mind than that, or if you need to give your book more of a medical flavor, there is another alternative. Many medical schools around the country are now offering mini-medical schools.

Like the citizen police academies, mini-medical schools have grown in response to the public's desire to know more. Also, like the citizen police academies, these mini-medical schools are multi-class sessions--usually over the course of six or more weeks. Do your homework before you sign up. Although some schools advertise themselves as giving classes on a smattering of everything a medical student would study, some schools offer classes on whatever they could get a faculty member to talk about. All are quick to tell you that attending a mini-med school won't qualify you for a doctor's degree. Nor should you expect to get all the jargon from this setting. Since it is aimed at the public, most lectures in these schools will be at a level that the lay person can understand. As far as I'm concerned, this is a good thing.

Question and answer sessions are standard here too, so even if your exact question isn't covered in the lecture, you can still ask it afterward.

These schools are intensely popular though. Check out your local medical school now to see if they are offering something in the fall. The cost can be minimal or even nothing as many schools offer these as a service to the public. Don't rule this option out if you are not close to a medical school. Here in Colorado, the mini-medical school's lectures have been broadcast to smaller cities on the Western slope, so that people who are too far away to commute for the lectures can view them from community colleges there. Be sure to inquire about the possibility.

Last but not least, your local writer's group should be a resource for you. My local Sisters in Crime chapter helps the county sheriff's department by being victims in crime scene simulation scenarios. We've gone on tours at the local FBI branch, and had experts in to talk about everything from arson to psychology. You don't have to be a woman to be a member either. Mystery Writers of America or your local writer's group can offer similar opportunities. So get involved. And get that research done.

Christine Duncan is the author of the Kaye Berreano mystery series. She is an alumni of the Arvada Colorado citizen's police academy.

Mystery Promo

As a mystery book author, I have received a heck of a lot of advice. My mysteries need to be available at every book store in the country, I need to sign at every one of those stores, I should give talks to every library and bookstore who will have me and all of this should be done in the first two weeks after the book is published. It's all pretty interesting if impossible to achieve.
And frankly, I'm at the point where I wonder just exactly how well all of this works anyway. I personally have never bought even one book because of advertising or even because of reviews. I buy books that others who read what I do tell me about but mostly I buy books that I think will be keepers--ones that I will want to read again and again. What that means to me is that the for the most part, I've read others of that author's books and loved them all. I am occasionally disappointed with this method, but not often. Usually, this results in a very small bag of books that I want to give away.

I have seen a lot of authors give readings, most of those didn't happen in the first few weeks after a book was published. I've been to a number of signings. They aren't all that interesting, really. I've bought books in both cases, and sometimes I won't buy a book, because the author did something to turn me off. One author, whose name I won't mention, did a reading with several other authors. During her reading, the silence was palpable. While the other authors read, she chatted with folks and made so much noise, I couldn't hear the other authors. I didn't buy her book.

So all of this is the long way round to saying I think promo is necessary, and I have and will do promo, but I am giving myself permission with this book to make mistakes and take it slower. I've already sent Safe House out to slews of reviewers even though it won't be in print until late spring. And I'm already trying to line up signings and interviews and blog tour hosts. But maybe it doesn't all have to be done in the first two weeks. Just maybe. What do you think?

Favorite Titles

To me, the title of a good mystery book is of paramount importance. I think more than in any other genre, it is the main “hook” that gets me to pull a book off the shelf and give it a look. If the jacket/cover blurb continues to intrigue me I may just be plopping down my cash or plastic at the counter. And a fundamental element in a good title in the mystery genre is that the title itself be somewhat mysterious. Catchy, grabby, but leaving you like, “what?” Here’s ten of my favorite mystery novel titles, in no particular order.

And Then There Were None – Agatha Christie

The Postman Always Rings Twice – James M. Cain

Double Indemnity – James M. Cain

The Anatomy of a Murder – Robert Traver

The Silence of the Lambs – Thomas Harris

To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee

The Bone Collector – Jeffery Deaver

Speaking in Tongues – Jeffry Deaver

In Cold Blood – Truman Capote

The Spy Who Came in from the Cold – John le Carr

How about you? How important is the title to you, and in what way? And what are some examples of great mystery book titles in your opinion?

***

Ideas not to use in mysteries by Vivian Zabel

I read books that sometimes irritate me because they contain cheap tricks, but nothing causes me to grit my teeth and throw the book across the room than when it's a mystery with cheap writing tricks. What are some of these "don't use ideas"? Ah, let me count the ways. Sorry, wrong analogy.

Don't have a protagonist, which is usually a woman, insert herself into a dangerous situation when she could call 911. How many stupid people are there in the literary world?

Don't leave the reader guessing about what the hero finds. A clue, a piece of evidence, whatever, should be shared with the reader when the character finds it.

Don't make dialogue boring, unreal, filled with background information. Have you ever become irate when one character explains something to another that the second person should know? I don't like it when one CSI person tells someone running a test all the steps. Surely the one running the test would know what to do.

Don't make the police appear stupid or dumb. Law enforcement officers should be realistic, not buffoons. Yes, they can make mistakes and actually appear flawed as we all are, but they should be intelligent enough to be on the force.

Just a few of my "don't dos," but I'll have more another time.

Vivian Zabel
Brain Cells & Bubble Wrap
Midnight Hours
Prairie Dog Cowboy
4RV Publishing
Vivian's Mysteries