The Mysteries of Exposition

As a plot evolves, the writer needs to decide how to spoon in backstory (exposition), which involves breaking from the main storyline to give the reader information relative to the plot. But too much exposition can be deadly. Backstory, either in dialogue or narrative, should be kept to a minimum and not continue for more than a page unless the plot contains an historical subplot.

Well-handled exposition provides perspective, dimension, and needed context to connect previous events with the present. A micro history, if you will. But exposition should be handled carefully. Comic strips and soap operas use the technique frequently, but novel characters should rarely use exposition to reveal past events, especially if they’re not relevant to the plot. Mystery novels should be written in a straight line with the story’s conclusion in mind, as though running a marathon with blinders. Forget those spectators on the sidelines. Always look toward the finish line.

An example of unnecessary exposition:

“Remember that key you gave me?”
“Which key is that?”
“Tied with a yellow ribbon.”
“No, I don't recall . . .”
“You said it was the key to your heart.”
“Was I drinking champagne?”
“You dropped the key in my slipper.’
“Come now, Carla, what’s the point?”
“Nothing, David. Nothing at all.”

If the above dialogue is a lead-in to a romantic scene that's central to the plot, it’s okay, or if Carla is planning to kill her lover. Otherwise, it should be deleted. An agent once called a similar conversation nonessential and advised me to revise it because it added little to the plot. Dialogue that doesn’t contribute significantly to the plot should be eliminated, no matter how much you like it.

When the first draft is finished and polishing begins, eliminate conversations that don’t characterize, provide limited exposition, or carry the plot forward. Any asides, cute expressions, and nonessential chit-chat need to go, no matter how cleverly written. Save them for the next novel and build a plot around them. Editors consider nonessential dialogue “padding,” and if the work is accepted in spite of padded prose, the copy editor will delete it for you. It’s better to do that yourself.

Psychology of Non-Verbal Dialogue

Can We Talk? Dialogue Can Be So Romantic


by Rob Walker

Let’s start with the face but don’t forget the cuticles either.

Whose face? Why the face of the Speaker in the Rye, or rather the novel, and the features of the other speaker as dialogue means 2-logues, not one. Facial expressions and features are a starting point. Squints, ticks, licking of lips – it all becomes part and parcel of how it all comes off the page like life itself or remains on the page like a dead, dehydrated piece of road kill.

In other words, it is not only what she says to him, but how he reacts to it; his facial expressions, his hands moving, his breathing, and then how she looks in reaction to his reaction. In my Dead On I intended for the duo to have a Boggie and BaCall relationship while they are being hunted like animals! In Children of Salem the lovers are a great deal more tentative with one another; after all, they have not seen one another for ten years as Jere went off to make his mark in order to feel worthy of her.

Nowadays we know so much about non-verbal communication in men and women, that in my humble opinion, after penning some fifty novels from the POV of the female lead and the male lead and many shared leads, I feel strongly about one element in all mysteries – that there be an element of love and romance afoot alongside the dastardly stuff. That it is incumbent upon us writers of mystery to understand the greatest mystery of all is romance and historical romance. To that end we must absolutely get with the program and utilize from three to five non-verbal “triangulations” in a scene just as we would triangulate at least three to five senses in a scene.

In a dialogue scene eye contact is huge, facial expressions, big, sounds, sighs, rolling eyes, as well as gestures and even how a character sits, legs crossed or not, and how he stands, firm or shaky. Posture and proximity. These are all key to making dialogue action rather than feeling like inaction. Think of those steamy scenes between Boggie and BaCall wherein she says so much with so little and he does likewise.

So what does science tell us about body language? Here is a pretty good list of items that I use as I write:

Non-verbal signs of Cooperation:

Standing with feet apart, head tilted high.

Direct eye-contact

Uncrossed legs and arms

Open arms and palms out

Finger to face (as opposed to hand covering face)

Suspicion/Secretiveness:

Hand covering mouth or shading eyes

Head down

Throat clearing

Need for reassurance:

Sucking on pen, pencil, glasses or other item

Clenched hands

Cuticle picking, biting nails

Hand to throat

Defensiveness:

Hands in pockets

Hands locked at back

Hand rubbing back of neck

Body twisted away

Stalling for time by cleaning glasses, pipe, rearranging, etc.

Interest:

Hand to cheek

Chin stroking

Leaning forward

Scratching head

Doubt:

Pacing

Hand over nose

Brow furrowed

Anxiety:

Nail biting

Strained voice

Rapid eye movements

Open Gestures:

Smiles

Eye contact

Affirmative head nods

Rubbing hands together

Interim phrases of agreement or acknowledgement (Eh? Uh-huh? Hmmm, oh, etc.)

Closed Gestures:

Fidgeting

Leaning back (as opposed to forward)

Hand covering mouth

Peering over top of glasses



In other words, it is as important to see/hear what a character says but just as important to see and hear what is going on between the spoken lines, alternating with interesting actions the character is involved in and engaged in. This keeps the dialogue interwoven with the action, and the action engaged while speakers speak. Let your characters do the walking as well as the talking simultaneously as they have wine and a meal.

Action should not end when a character opens her mouth to “speak.” Same as with thinking; we are in real life normally involved in multi-tasking as we are thinking, no? Same as when speaking. Your dialogue needs to walk; your dialogue requires legs. When the man says, “Lights, action, camera” include in that list “dialogue” but ratchet it UP!

My latest madness is found at http://tinyurl.com/ykch9vf Dirty Deeds – Advice where you can keep tabs on the work in progress – Curse of the Titanic, or google Write Aide, or check out his blogs at www.makeminemystery.com or look for free stuff at www.robertwalkerbooks.com

Do leave your comments!

Rob

Too Much Dialogue

by Jean Henry Mead

Dialogue makes or breaks a novel. Excessive conversation accelerates the plot and your reader can’t relax. It’s like a nervous people who can’t stop talking because she’s afraid of silence. Dialogue must be balanced with narrative as well as action.

If your characters all sound alike you’ve got a problem. You have to vary speech patterns so they can be recognized without dialogue tags. Make effective use of speech patterns by having a character “murder” the language with “he don’t” or “you was.” Or have someone stutter or use cliches. Those are extreme examples of speech patterns but they individualize your characters.

The quality of information your character imparts is also important. One of your characters can be feather-brained and rattle on without making sense—but not for long. Another character may sound like Einstein because his words are few and wise. Like the old brokerage firm commercial: “When you whisper, others listen,” remember that short bursts of dialogue elicit the reader’s attention while long diatribes can put them to sleep.

If you’re writing about Abe Lincoln giving his Gettysburg Address, you need to split it up with a gunshot or someone interrupting him so that it doesn’t go on forever. Monologues belong on the “Tonight Show,” not in your novel.

Dialogue should be lucid. Don’t have a character reciting a laundry list of complaints without taking a breath. Again, have another character interrupt him by asking a question or punching him in the nose.

Don’t overedit your dialogue. No one, whether living or in fiction, speaks with perfect diction—unless he’s an actor reciting a script. Make sure there's plenty of emotion as well as color in every character’s speech.

Bharti Kirchner’s article, “What Did You Say?” emphasizes dialogue as a language unto itself. “It has its own rules and rhythm and is tightly focused. You don’t necessarily answer a question, but, as often as not, go off on a tangent and start a fresh topic. This keeps the reader in suspense.“

For example:

“Joey!” She frowned at him from across the room.
“Mama.”
“You’re late.”
“You look so beautiful today that I’m going to take your picture.”

When you leave out tag lines, the conversation is allowed to flow more smoothly. But, make sure that each character's speech patterns area easily recognizable.

She said, He said

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. They don't speak the same language. Really? No, not really. Men and women understand each other very well, in spite of a pop psychology industry determined to convince us otherwise. Nevertheless, there are some differences in the way men and women use language in conversation. These are not big differences, more like subtle tendencies. Men tend to do more of this, women tend to do more of that. Writers can add more authenticity to their dialogue by paying attention to these subtle differences. Let's look at an example.

The relationship between Spenser and Susan Silverman is one of the most enduring relationships in literature. They've been together for 35 years since 1974 when God Save The Child was published. Here's the scene where it began.

"Why don't you take off your coat?" she said.
"Well, it's supposed to make me look taller," I said.
"Sitting down?"
"No, I guess not," I said and stood up and took it off.
"I don't think you need to look taller, Mr. Spenser," she said. When she smiled, the color of her face seemed to heighten. "How tall are you?"
"Six one," I said.
"Really? That's surprising. I must admit you don't look that tall."
"Even with the raincoat?" I said.
"Even with that," she said. "You're so wide. Do you work with weights?"
"Yeah, some. How could you tell? Your husband lift?"
"Ex-husband," she said. "Yes, he played tackle for Harvard and stayed with the weights afterward."

Robert B. Parker, God Save the Child.

Notice that Susan has six turns to speak and Spenser has five. Susan utters 58 words; Spenser utters 27. Susan's extra turn, which has 13 words, doesn't account for the difference in total words. Susan says an average of 9.7 words each time she speaks compared to Spenser's 5.4.

We're not going to fall into the old stereotype that women talk more than men. We want to know where the extra words come from. We can see that Susan's speech is more complex than Spenser's. Remember, both of them are very literate people. Spenser reads books that most people would never pick up. Nevertheless, Susan utters eight complete sentences and four fragments compared to Spenser's three complete sentences and four fragments. Correct grammar simply uses more words than incorrect. So one difference between men and women is that women's speech tends to have more complete sentences than men's. Note that both men and women pepper their dialogue with sentence fragments. The difference is simply in the ratio of sentences to fragments--two-thirds of Susan's utterances are complete, whereas only half of Spenser's are complete. So to make your character's speech more masculine, spice it with more fragments. To make it more feminine, check the grammar.

The "do drop." English speakers commonly drop the "do" or "did" from certain kinds of sentences ([Do] You want to get something to eat?) This is another gender marker. Susan retains it when she asks if Spenser works with weights. Spenser drops it in his answer. While both men and women commonly drop the "do," men drop it more often than women.

Women use language to connect, men use language to communicate. Certainly men connect, too, just as women communicate, but women's speech contains more connectors. When Susan says, "I don't think. . ." she is making a connection between herself and Spenser. She could have said, "You don't need to look taller," which would have been straightforward communication and is the way Spenser probably would have said it. Susan makes another connection when she says, "I must admit. . ." Phrases such as "I think," "I believe," "I feel" preceding a statement of fact serve to connect the speaker to the hearer. Such phrases are not exclusively female, but occur with greater frequency in women's speech than in men's.

The art of seduction. Man-to-woman speech is often more wordy than man-to-man. A man seduces a woman by telling stories and jokes about himself. Remember when Eddie Valiant, the detective in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? asks Jessica why she stays with Roger? She answered, "He makes me laugh." I'll bet our caveman ancestors did not club fair cave maiden on the head to get her onto the animal skins. Instead, he probably spun a tale about the hunt and maybe tossed in a joke about stepping in the mastodon dung. Spenser makes a play for Susan with a joke on himself about the coat making him look taller. It earns him a smile from Susan.

There are, of course, no absolutes. You can find men who never utter a sentence fragment (Barak Obama?) and women who always drop the "do." How your characters speak is part of their personality and the more you understand their personality, the more authentic their speech will sound. However, counting words, fragments, "do's," and qualifying phrases can help you add more feminine or more masculine attributes to your dialogue.

For more on this topic, see my Hawaiian-eye blog.

Put zip in mysteries by Vivian Zabel

I tried to read three different books a few weeks ago, two of which were mysteries or sub-mystery genre. I couldn't force myself to plow through the words between the covers. Another two books, mysteries, too, were sent to me to review. I don't know what to do about those reviews because the books are poorly written, except in a few spots.

I'm a avid reader. When I can't find anything else, I may read the back of cereal boxes. But these books defied my attempts to force myself to read them. So, I decided to analyze the problem or problems as to why the reading was labored and uninteresting.

Using four of the five books, the mysteries, (but not identifying them to protect the poor authors) as examples, I can give several reasons that books can be unreadable, things that an author needs to avoid. However, this time I'll discuss five.

1.Too many subplots can become confusing. Confusing, and thus losing, readers isn't a good thing. That doesn't mean that having subplots is a bad thing, just that too many spoil the book. Too many subplots makes the overall plot too complex.

2. Making "make-believe" world unbelievable. Readers can suspend belief IF authors develop a world in writing that a reader can accept, can suspend belief enough to accept. However, a reader must be able to say, "Oh, yes, I can see how that might happen if such a world or circumstances did exist." Therefore, as Laura Whitcomb states (Writer's Digest, March/April 2009), "Readers need to buy into the reality put forward by what they're reading." An author cannot go too far with a plot point or not far enough as the reading audience is being prepared. The plot cannot become too far fetched, or readers will not be able to suspend belief enough to accept it.

3. Dialogue can't be just talking heads. Action needs to be involved as well as conversation, and conversation with action should move the plot along and reveals character. Also, the reader needs to know who is talking when.

4. An unsatisfactory conclusion should be avoided. A twist or surprising ending that has a good foundation laid in the story is good. An ending that does not "fit" is bad.

5. Forced emotion can destroy believability. Most people do not sit mulling over their inner most thoughts and emotions in the midst of action. Yet, I'm discovering many novels that have a character do just that. Not only does such needless and in depth thinking tell and not show, but it becomes monotonous.

There, five ways that cause mysteries to become targets for the waste basket, when avoided can improve a story. Of course more ways exist, but those can be covered another time.

Vivian Zabel
Brain Cells & Bubble Wrap
4RV Publishing

Dialogue or Description, What's Your Forte'? By Morgan Mandel

I find it easy to create dialogue, but difficult to provide descriptions. Maybe that's because I'm in my characters' heads and concentrating on solving their problems and not on describing what they look like or where they are.

My characters and I already know those things. Unfortunately, the reader doesn't. Because of that, I need to make a conscious effort to remind myself to provide descriptions.

My editor, Helen Ginger, pointed out portions of Killer Career, my work in progress, where adding descriptions would enrich the novel. While attending to my edits, I'll pay close attention to providing more descriptive details to make the scenes come alive in the readers' minds.

What about you? Are you better at writing dialogue or description? Which do you enjoy most? Please Share.