by Janis Patterson
Someone once asked me if I had ever seen a psychiatrist.
When I could close my mouth again, I said of course not, and asked why he would
ask me such a question. He replied that I spent a great deal of time planning
how to kill people, and wasn't that a sign of homicidal pathology?
Well, I didn't say or do what I really wanted to, but I did
start thinking. As part of the front credit crawl on the old TV show Castle a
voice over states "...there are two kinds of people who spend their days plotting
murder - psychopaths and mystery writers." (Quoted from memory, and not
guaranteed to be absolutely accurate, but it's pretty close.)
Accurate or not, it's true. It really shocked me exactly how
much time I do spend thinking about ways to do away with my fellow men. I
remember once stopping a dinner party absolutely dead (no pun intended) when I
chortled with glee after a scientific friend told me how to weaponize simple table
salt! (It's complicated and requires special circumstances, but it can be done.
Tee-hee!) The Husband can always tell when something (usually murderous) has
ticked over in my brain, because according to him I "get this really weird
look on my face, and then I smile with satisfaction..." His words, not
mine. I hate to think I had such an obvious tell. Anyway, my friends, even the
ones who aren't mystery writers, have apparently become accustomed to this
phenomenon.
So what does this have to do with why we write mysteries? I
think it's because of a need deep within us. A need of what? Well, that varies
with the writer. Some of us are dedicated to promulgating the idea that justice
will prevail and evil-doers will be punished. Others like the solve-the-puzzle
aspect, and murder usually presents the highest stakes. Still others are
fascinated with the workings of the criminal and the detective mind. I'm sure
there are other reasons, probably as many as there are mystery readers.
I do know that for one mystery writer (me) it's an exercise
in mental health and obeying the law. You see, every villain and/or murderer
that I have dragged to justice has been at least partially inspired by someone
who has at one time or another angered me. It's really quite healthy for
everyone - I can off anyone I want in the nastiest ways possible and if the
first time doesn't work, I can do it again; no one gets hurt; and I get paid
for doing it. Win-Win-Win!
