Steve McNair...a Classic Homicide by Chester Campbell

The past week in Nashville has been like a primer on police procedure for mystery writers. If you happened to glance away from all the Michael Jackson coverage for a bit, you may have seen where Steve McNair, the retired quarterback for the Tennessee Titans, a former NFL MVP, was murdered in an apartment near downtown in the wee hours on the 4th of July.

McNair had played for the Titans and its predecessor Houston Oilers his entire career, except for his last two seasons with the Baltimore Ravens. After retiring, he returned to live in Nashville with his wife and three children. He was a popular figure, constantly involved in working with kids and other charitable activities.

With such a high-profile figure, the Metro Nashville police went all out to investigate the case and bring it to a quick conclusion. A friend who rented the apartment with McNair found his body on a sofa early Saturday afternoon with two gunshots to the head and two to his chest. On the floor in front of him was a 20-year-old woman. She had been shot once in the head.

Homicide detectives, crime scene techs, a doctor from the Medical Examiner’s staff , and scores of cops converged on the scene. Crowds of fans who had been headed for a riverfront Independence Day celebration gathered behind the crime scene tape. Continuous live TV coverage showed evidence bags being brought out of the apartment.

At 3:30 p.m., Police Spokesman Don Aaron gave media the first official word that Steve McNair was dead, also a female not being identified until next of kin could be notified. When they moved her body, they found a semiautomatic pistol beneath her. Ballistic tests would be conducted at the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation crime lab.

Later that evening, police identified the woman as Sahel Kazemi, originally from Jacksonville, FL, whose mother came from Iran. Police had swarmed her suburban apartment and questioned neighbors. Sunday morning’s newspaper said the 36-year-old former quarterback had been dating her for several months, that she drove a Cadillac Escalade registered in both their names.

On Sunday afternoon, Spokesman Aaron gave another news conference. Autopsies had been completed, and McNair’s death was ruled a homicide. He said Kazemi’s death would not be classified until completion of further investigation.

Police reported on Monday that ballistics tests showed two shots to McNair’s chest and one to his head were fired from three feet away. The other shot to his temple was a contact wound. With the assistance of the ATF, they determined that Kazemi, a waitress at Opry Mills Mall, had purchased the gun Thursday night in the parking lot from a private individual.

At a news conference on Wednesday, Police Chief Ronal Serpas confirmed that Kazemi had shot McNair, probably while he was asleep, and committed suicide. Though McNair had apparently co-signed to allow her to purchase the Escalade, she was responsible for the payments. Conversations with friends and co-workers showed she felt her life was unraveling. She didn’t know how she could pay her bills, and she thought McNair had another girlfriend.

"We do believe there was evidence that she was spinning out of control," said Serpas.

The newspaper gave widespread coverage of the crime and the investigation, including detailed drawings of the crime scene, showing where the bodies were found. It was a classic case of gumshoe work questioning everybody who might have known anything and forensic testing to determine everything about the gun and its firing.

Thousands of fans flocked to memorial services yesterday. Crime writers are tasked with showing the effects of homicide on those around the victim. In this case, those most directly impacted were McNair’s widow and three young children in Nashville, plus an older son living with family in his hometown of Mount Olive, MS. Mechelle (Mrs.) McNair has chosen to remain totally private and has made no statement regarding her husband’s death.

Ironically, Steve McNair had opened a new restaurant, Gridiron9 (his old jersey number), near the Tennessee State University campus two weeks ago.

Odds 'n Ends of Advice from Mystery Experts - by Vivian Zabel

I read writing magazines, blogs written by writers and writing experts, and articles about writing. Usually each thing I read gives me at least one nugget of golden advice. Here are a few of my favorites bits and pieces or “odds ‘n ends” of advice.

1. Clive Cussler, The Writer March 1979: Lead readers on and on by ending chapters on a note of mystery. Cut out deadwood. If it isn’t necessary, cut it.

I’m not always consistent about following the advice to end chapters on note of mystery, but I’m getting better.

2. I really like this bit of advice from James Scott Bell, Writer’s Digest March/April 2009, and I use it often: “Relive your scenes. Not rewrite. Relive.” Imagine yourself as the characters living the scene.

3. In the March 2009 The Writer, Staton Rabin writes: “Handle exposition delicately.” He states, “We must never know we are having things explained to us.”

4. Going back almost as far in The Writer history as the Clive Cussler article is the 1985 article by Randall Silvis, who wrote that dialogue draws the reader closer to the action, intensifying it.

5. Nancy Lamb wrote in a Writer’s Workbook, Writer’s Digest March/April 2009, and I’m going to quote the whole paragraph: “Never let the truth get in the way of your story. Creative writing is just that: creative. If the truth prevents you from telling your fictional story effectively, get rid of the facts and invent something that makes the story work.” Wonderful words of wisdom for fiction.

6. According to Gary Braver, The Writer April 2009, “give your hero two quests,” a personal and a public quest.

7. Jessica Page Morrell’s title, Writer’s Digest July/August 2009, is excellent advice: “Keep your story moving at the right pace.”

8. In the February 2009 The Writer, Mary E. DeMuth writes, “Translate your emotional experiences,” and “Get out in the world.”

I’ve given only eight tips out of the hundreds available, but each one gives an author much useful advice. Yes, they are some of my favorite odds ‘n ends of mystery writing advice.

Vivian Zabel
Brain Cells & Bubble Wrap

Location by Mark Troy

If you’ve been keeping up with Helen Ginger’s Straight From Hel blog (and why wouldn’t you?) you know she undertook a quest at my suggestion to find and photograph Slip F-18 Bahia Mar, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. Along with 221b Baker Street, the abode of Sherlock Holmes, Slip F-18 is one of the most famous addresses in mysterydom,. It’s where Travis McGee docks his houseboat, The Busted Flush. Both addresses are fictitious but their locations are real.

I don’t think I’m an obsessive fan, but if I ever visit London, I will surely go to Baker Street. I have walked the block of Marlborough Street in Boston where Spenser lives, though I could not identify which apartment was his. (Bob Ames of the Bullets and Beer website believes he’s figured out which one is Spenser’s. You can read how he did it here.) I have Googled Woodrow Wilson Avenue in Los Angeles where Harry Bosch lives and, using the street view feature, have found some likely candidates.

Why does it matter where our protagonists live? It’s actually the rare story in which the protagonist’s home is relevant to the plot. If the home figures into the story, it’s usually where the story begins, where we see the hero in his or her ordinary world; and it’s often where the story ends when the hero returns to the ordinary world. In between, the hero might return home to catch his/her breath or lick his/her wounds.

If home is not important to the plot, it is, nevertheless, important to character. Where they choose to live and what they choose to surround themselves with, tell us a lot about the characters and what they value. We never learned much about Philip Marlowe’s pad except for the ever-present, unfinished chess game, but that tells us a lot about his spare, focused personality. Spenser’s Back Bay apartment reflects his appreciation of substance and quality. The location is near the center of his world. In contrast, Harry Bosch chose a house high up in the Hollywood Hills with a deck that overlooks the city he serves. His job takes him into the pit of hell every day, so it’s understandable that he would want to rise above it, literally and figuratively.

The main character of my current project, Ava Rome, lives in Waikiki because she likes to be near the activity. Waikiki, however, is a densely populated area full of high-rise apartment buildings, which, in my opinion, lack character. Ava thinks so too, and refers to their collective style as “Californication.” I looked long and hard for a place in Waikiki that would suit Ava and finally found it on Pau Street. It’s a two-story apartment building that looks like it was built in the early 60’s before the high-rise building boom. It’s next door to a single dwelling home that could be even older and might be the last single home in Waikiki. Pau Street is a one-block street on the western end of Waikiki. Even the name resonates with meaning. Pau means “end” or “finished” so this out-of-date apartment on this tiny street represents a last stand against whatever needs to be stood up to. And that’s what Ava does. She’s the last stand for people who have messed up their lives. Her apartment has one other feature that makes it desirable for my story. The stairs going up to her door are painted red, so blood stains won’t show.

The Busted Flush, Travis McGee’s houseboat, is as much a part of his character as his cynical outlook. It's how we picture him, sitting on deck, waxing philosophic on love, friendship, gin and women. Of course everyone knows he's not there. But if he were there, he would have greeted Helen Ginger and her husband with a cold martini. Then he would have listened sympathetically to her account of the highway clogged with traffic and the ocean views ruined by development and he would have had very harsh words for the people who destroyed his Florida.

So writers, how did you choose where your characters live? Readers, what fictional abodes would you visit if you could?

Mark Troy
http://hawaiian-eye.blogspot.com
http://www.marktroy.net

Last Chance by Morgan Mandel

My proof for my romantic suspense, Killer Career, was delivered to my brother's house Friday (chosen because he has an enclosed porch which keeps deliveries dry.) The DH picked it up on Saturday. It was an exciting time to actually hold Killer Career in my hands and see what it will look like.

Since the 4th of July weekend was so busy, I had little time to check it out. I'm on page 53 of 300. I intend to read it all to make sure nothing was added or forgotten. Hopefully, I won't be bummed out by mistakes I should have caught before. Keeping my fingers crossed all will be ok.

What about you? Have you ever had problems somewhere in the publication process where things didn't go right? Please share.

Morgan Mandel
http://www.morganmandel.com/
http://morganmandel.blogspot.com/

The Heat is On

I am having trouble with my MacBook. It made a horrible clacking noise last week, so I backed everything up, shut it down and took it to the Apple Store, where the Genius Bar dude listened and fiddled and finally diagnosed a clogged fan. He blew some compressed air in the vents, dislodged a wad of cat hair (shocking, I know...) and sent me home, sans noisy fan.

Well, it looks like my MacBook is actually sans working fan altogether. It heats up after less than a half hour, hot enough to be felt through a pillow. So... I'm going back to the Genius Bar and hoping it's something that can be fixed quickly and easily or I'm gonna be sans MacBook for at least a week. I can write on my Neo Alphasmart, but I won't have my WIP to refer to while I'm writing . Maybe this will be good for my productivity... maybe not. We shall see.

So. Since my beloved MacBook is heating up even as I type this, what do YOU do when your computer poops out temporarily? Pen and pad? Tape-recorder? Inquiring minds want to know!

Too Much Dialogue

by Jean Henry Mead

Dialogue makes or breaks a novel. Excessive conversation accelerates the plot and your reader can’t relax. It’s like a nervous people who can’t stop talking because she’s afraid of silence. Dialogue must be balanced with narrative as well as action.

If your characters all sound alike you’ve got a problem. You have to vary speech patterns so they can be recognized without dialogue tags. Make effective use of speech patterns by having a character “murder” the language with “he don’t” or “you was.” Or have someone stutter or use cliches. Those are extreme examples of speech patterns but they individualize your characters.

The quality of information your character imparts is also important. One of your characters can be feather-brained and rattle on without making sense—but not for long. Another character may sound like Einstein because his words are few and wise. Like the old brokerage firm commercial: “When you whisper, others listen,” remember that short bursts of dialogue elicit the reader’s attention while long diatribes can put them to sleep.

If you’re writing about Abe Lincoln giving his Gettysburg Address, you need to split it up with a gunshot or someone interrupting him so that it doesn’t go on forever. Monologues belong on the “Tonight Show,” not in your novel.

Dialogue should be lucid. Don’t have a character reciting a laundry list of complaints without taking a breath. Again, have another character interrupt him by asking a question or punching him in the nose.

Don’t overedit your dialogue. No one, whether living or in fiction, speaks with perfect diction—unless he’s an actor reciting a script. Make sure there's plenty of emotion as well as color in every character’s speech.

Bharti Kirchner’s article, “What Did You Say?” emphasizes dialogue as a language unto itself. “It has its own rules and rhythm and is tightly focused. You don’t necessarily answer a question, but, as often as not, go off on a tangent and start a fresh topic. This keeps the reader in suspense.“

For example:

“Joey!” She frowned at him from across the room.
“Mama.”
“You’re late.”
“You look so beautiful today that I’m going to take your picture.”

When you leave out tag lines, the conversation is allowed to flow more smoothly. But, make sure that each character's speech patterns area easily recognizable.

Forensic Tips and Other Stuff

The Public Safety Writers Association conference turned out wonderfully! I was in charge of the program--and like anything else, I wasn't sure how the speakers would be or how well they'd be received.

Steve Scarborough, who I'd met the year before, is a newly retired forensic expert who gave us some intriguing tidbits. I put them on my own personal blog, but think they are good enough to spread around a bit more:

Steve was wonderful. He's been an expert forensic witness on all kind of crimes. I'm just going to mention a few of the things he told us.

Forensic Evidence can narrow the leads and eliminate suspects.
Forensic facts can make your story come alive, but you need to be careful.

You should know the direction your story is going before you do the research.

Fingerprints are the most conclusive form of forensic evidence though Fingerprints and DNA should get equal billing.

It's hard to get fingerprints off of towels, the sofa, etc. metal and glass works better.

Ballistics evidence depends upon certain conditions of the bullet.

Other types of evidence are hair, fiber, glass fragments, ABO blood type, shoe prints.

Everything is circumstantial evidence except an eye witness.

What you must have is Means, Motive and Opportunity.

It's a myth that anything can be done--nothing is proven quickly, and some of the science seen on TV is make-believe.

You can't tell race or sex from fingerprints.

There is no such thing as a three point or four point match in fingerprints.

Detectives don't follow the evidence to the lab.

And the labs don't have everything they need in forensics. The smaller the place, the less they will have in the way of crime labs.

Steve was fantastic, worth the price of the conference. (And by the way, he had to pay to come too. Because it's such a small conference, all the speakers had to pay to come. Guess how much fun that is to explain when you're trying to get speakers. Despite that, we had other great speakers, Betty Webb for one, Sheila Lowe who is a forensic handwriting expert, and Joyce Spizer Foy who besides being a private eye has written screen plays and any number of exciting pursuits.)

In my books, the police officers use old-fashioned detective work--I never use much in the way of forensics, found it easier that way. Even had a reviewer say once that he suspected most police departments operated like my fictional Rocky Bluff P.D. using old-fashioned police work to find out the answers.

And as a P.S. I'm already planning for next year. If you'd like to be a speaker (writing information or as an expert) and don't mind paying your way, please do contact me.

Marilyn a.k.a. F. M. Meredith
http://fictionforyou.com